I Did Frankly Forgive Them

I Did Frankly Forgive Them

Nephi’s example of discipleship is impressive in a variety of dimensions, but none more so than outside Jerusalem while returning to the family camp in the wilderness with Ishmael and his family. The setting is Nephi and his brothers have been sent to convince Ishmael to join Lehi and his family in the wilderness. As we learn later, Ishmael just happened to have enough daughters for all the sons of Lehi and Zoram to marry. This time, for some reason, there was no complaining on the part of Laman and Lemuel, until they were returning to the wilderness camp. At this point “Laman and Lemuel, and two of the daughters of Ishmael, and the two sons of Ishmael and their families, did rebel against” Nephi (1 Nephi 7:6.) They wanted to return to Jerusalem.

At this point “Nephi, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts...spake unto them” (1 Nephi 7:8.) Nephi is not known for subtlety, and this event was certainly no exception. He asked them some pointed questions in rapid fire (see http://www.themostcorrectbook.org/2019/05/question-shall-we-not-be-diligent-in.html for more details on this exchange). In response, Laman and Lemuel skipped the mocking phase of murmuring, “they were angry with” him. Their anger immediately turned to violence as they tied up Nephi “that they might leave [him] in the wilderness to be devoured by wild beasts” (1 Nephi 7:16.) Nephi then prays for strength to burst these bands with which [he was] bound and his petition is granted, allowing him to stand in front of his brethren to speak “unto them again” (1 Nephi 7:17-18.)

As usual, “they were angry with [Nephi] again, and sought to lay hands upon [him]; but behold, one of the daughters of Ishmael, yea, and also her mother, and one of the sons of Ishmael, did plead with [his] brethren, insomuch that they did soften their hearts; and they did cease striving to take away [Nephi’s] life” (1 Nephi 7:19.)

Here is where the story gets interesting. In response to the petition in Nephi’s behalf,  Laman and Lemuel suddenly “were sorrowful, because of their wickedness, insomuch that they did bow down before [Nephi], and did plead with [him] that [he] would forgive them of the thing that they had done against” him (1 Nephi 7:20.) Their violence had quickly turned to groveling at Nephi’s feet.

Imagine yourself as Nephi at this point. You have been enduring your brothers’ murmuring for weeks, if not months, or even longer. Their murmuring has included mocking, anger, and violence toward you and others you love. They have just made at least the second attempt on your life. Now, suddenly, they are sorry and asking for forgiveness? Do you believe them? Is this a trick? Are they really sincere? Is there any possibility that they are just trying to win favor with their future mother-in-law who had plead in your behalf? What happens next is one of the most powerful and inspiring examples of discipleship in all of holy writ.

In Nephi's language, “And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness.” What!? No lecture, no sarcasm, no cool and calculated response in case this was a trick? No, Nephi “did frankly forgive them.” Not just this one horrific example of violence, like so many others, but he “did frankly forgive them all that they had done”! All the mocking, and anger, and violence Nephi had ever experienced was included in one magnificent act of forgiveness. As if this was not exemplary enough, he also deflected their adoration of him to where it rightly belonged - to God. Therefore, he did “exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness” (1 Nephi 7:21.) How did Laman and Lemuel react to Nephi’s forgiveness and instructions? “And it came to pass that they did so. And after they had done praying unto the Lord we did again travel on our journey towards the tent of our father.”

Every time I have read this story I am amazed at Nephi’s strength and goodness to forgive. The precept to be derived from this piece of Book of Mormon history is the importance and power of forgiveness. This is a precept with which I have struggled as a disciple. There have been times in my life when others have been unkind, sometimes mocking me and my faith, times when others have been angry toward me, and a few time when that anger has turned to violence. I confess, early in my discipleship I struggled with the command that I forgive others (Matthew 6:12-15), particularly when others were trying to do me or my loved ones harm. However, as I have read again and again about Nephi’s example I have found it increasingly hard to withhold forgiveness from another. As I write this and consider all the people I know, I can honestly say that I do not hold malice toward anyone. This is simply miraculous for me. My tendency when I was young was to harbor ill feelings toward others who had wronged me and sometimes seek revenge. Nephi’s example has stirred me to reach for God’s grace and has helped me to change. As I have learned to abide the precept of forgiving others I have drawn nearer to God. He has replaced the malice with peace as I have forgiven others.

Question - How is it ye are so hard in your hearts?

In 1 Nephi 7 we read that after successfully retrieving the plates of brass from Laban, Lehi was instructed to send his sons back to Jerusalem to invite Ishmael and his family to join them in the wilderness. It turns out that Ishmael had the same number of daughters as Lehi has sons, and one more for Zoram. Unlike the first trip, there was no mention of Laman and Lemuel complaining, until after they had convinced Ishmael and his family to join them and they were returning to join Lehi and Sariah in the wilderness. We read that, “it came to pass in the which rebellion, they were desirous to return unto the land of Jerusalem" (v 7).

Not one to be silent, and “being grieved for the hardness of their hearts,” Nephi “spake unto them.” He began with an observation and question combination in one sentence, “ye are mine elder brethren, and how is it that ye are so hard in your hearts, and so blind in your minds, that ye have need that I, your younger brother, should speak unto you, yea, and set an example for you?” It appears that before Laman and Lemuel could answer the first question Nephi asked more questions, one after the other, without waiting for a response from Laman and Lemuel. He asked, "How is it that ye have:

• not hearkened unto the word of the Lord?
• forgotten that ye have seen an angel of the Lord?
• forgotten what great things the Lord hath done for us, in delivering us out of the hands of Laban, and also that we should obtain the record?
• forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? (v 8-11)

He concluded the questions with, “Wherefore, let us be faithful to him” and then invited action and made a promise, “if it so be that we are faithful to him, we shall obtain the land of promise; and ye shall know at some future period that the word of the Lord shall be fulfilled concerning the destruction of Jerusalem; for all things which the Lord hath spoken concerning the destruction of Jerusalem must be fulfilled.” This is exactly the same pattern as with his conversation with Zoram (http://www.themostcorrectbook.org/2019/05/question-shall-we-not-be-diligent-in.html)—bear witness, ask a question, and invite/promise. In this case, however, he felt the need to give Laman and Lemuel three times the number questions he gave Zoram. Maybe he felt more questions were needed to get through to Laman and Lemuel.

Unsurprisingly, Laman and Lemuel chose to become angry with Nephi. They again attempted to take his life, but others pled for mercy, and Laman and Lemuel released him and continued the journey to Lehi and Sariah, pleading for mercy from Nephi. Given such, we might be tempted to conclude that the best thing to do is to not speak up so much. However, Nephi had to speak up since returning to Jerusalem would likely result in their all being killed and their parents and Zoram perishing in the wilderness.

Given all this, let’s look a little deeper into Nephi’s questions. What is instructive in Nephi’s questions is that three of the four questions focus on forgetfulness. This is a theme throughout the Book of Mormon. Prophets routinely remind the people of what they already know, but have forgotten. There is a generalized form of Nephi’s questions about forgetfulness that is applicable to every disciple:

• How is it that ye have forgotten that ye have seen an angel of the Lord? We might be tempted to claim we have never seen an angel, so this question does not apply to us. However, the generalized form of this question is “ye have forgotten that ye have seen.” We have all seen extraordinary events, places, people... As Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote, “Earth's crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God, but only he who sees takes off his shoes; the rest sit round and pluck blackberries.” More specifically in this case, all of us have seen angels since one type of angel is one who does the Lord’s will and speaks his word. We would not be aware of the Book of Mormon without having encountered angels along the way. Some, however, have literally seen heavenly messengers and have forgotten, just like Laman and Lemuel. In either case the forgetfulness is not the lack of cognitive capacity. Instead, it is a choice that comes of hard-heartedness. Recognizing we are hard-hearted has proven to be a challenge for all of us. Hence, the question, have ye forgotten that ye have seen…? It is a question that attempts to penetrate our hearts.
• How is it that ye have forgotten what great things the Lord hath done for us, in delivering us out of the hands of Laban, and also that we should obtain the record? This question moves from remembering what we have seen or heard to what the Lord has actually done for each of us. Therefore, the generalized form of the question is “How is it that ye have forgotten what great things the Lord hath done for us…?” Notice the question asks if we recognize what God has done for “us,” not just “me.” Saint Ingatius is quoted as saying, “In the light of the Divine Goodness, it seems to me, though others may think differently, that ingratitude is the most abominable of sins and that it should be detested in the sight of our Creator and Lord by all of His creatures who are capable of enjoying His divine and everlasting glory.” The influential western philosopher, Immanuel Kant, taught that “Ingratitude is the essence of vileness.” More importantly, the Lord himself, speaking through Joseph declared, “And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments” (D&C 59:21). Hence, the importance of asking ourselves, “have I forgotten what great things the Lord hath done for us?”
• How is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Lastly, Nephi asks a question that probes our faith in God’s capacity to “do all all things according to his [not our] will” IF “we will exercise faith in him?" Therefore, the generalized form of the question is “how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do...if it so be that [we] exercise faith in him?” It is not enough that we recognize what the Lord has done for us in the past, we must recognize his ability and desire to do what he feels best for his children, “if they exercise faith in him.”

Together, these three questions help us answer, at least in part, why we don’t harken to the Lord. We have typically forgotten: what we have seen, what he has done for us and others, and that he is able to bless according to his will if we exercise faith in him. Ironically, when we do not exercise faith in him we enable a sad self-fulfilling prophecy in limiting what he can do for us, just like the people of Nazareth of  whom Christ marveled because of their unbelief and for whom he could do no miracle (see Mark 6:1-6). Our disobedience and forgetfulness is a measure of us, not of God. Therefore, it is so important for us to develop means whereby we may be reminded. 

Fortunately, the Lord has provided a simple, yet profound, means of helping us remember. Each week he invites us to partake of the sacrament whereby we witness, and are reminded, to take upon ourselves the name of Christ, to always remember him, and to keep his commandments. When we sincerely, worthily, and consistently partake of the sacrament and act upon the impressions of the Spirit resulting from doing so it is far less likely we will forget what we have seen, what the Lord has done for us, or that he is able to do all things according to his will if we exercise faith in him. What a magnificently simple, yet powerful, invitation for us all. Hence, the importance of the question, "How is it ye are so hard in your hearts?"

Question - Shall we not be diligent in keeping the commandments of the Lord?

We know very little about an early character that appears early in the Book of Mormon by the name of Zoram. When Nephi goes to Laban’s treasury to get the plates of brass Zoram is introduced as “the servant of Laban who had the keys of the treasury.” When they met Nephi commanded Zoram “in the voice of Laban, that he should go with [him] into the treasury.” Zoram assumed it was Laban because Nephi was wearing Laban’s clothes and carrying his sword. Nephi must have had a similar voice, or the Lord helped with his voice to sound like Laban, as they carried on a conversation “concerning the elders of the Jews, he knowing that his master, Laban, had been out by night among them” while walking to rejoin Nephi's “elder brethren, who were without the walls.” Zoram followed Nephi, assuming that Nephi was speaking “of the brethren of the church, and that [Nephi] was truly...Laban.”

When Laman saw Nephi and Zoram outside the walls of Jerusalem coming toward him and his brothers “he was exceedingly frightened, and also Lemuel and Sam.” They ran away, supposing “it was Laban, and that he had slain” Nephi and was now going to kill them. In response, Nephi "called after them, and they did hear me; wherefore they did cease to flee from” Nephi.

Now, picture Zoram. He thought he was following his master, Laban, to join with the elders of Jerusalem with whom Laban had been earlier that evening. No doubt he began to wonder what was going on asking himself questions like:

• Who are these men who were running and have now stopped because they recognized the voice of the person I thought was Laban?
• Who is this person I have been following?
• Why is he wearing Laban’s clothes?
• Where is Laban?

Whatever he was thinking “he began to tremble, and was about to flee from…[Nephi] and return to the city of Jerusalem.”

At this point we learn a little more about Nephi. He describes himself as “being a man large in stature, and also having received much strength of the Lord.” Therefore, he “did seize upon the servant of Laban, and held him, that he should not flee.” It is likely that Zoram was also a large and mighty man as he was the keeper of Laban’s treasury—not a position for those who could not defend the treasury. Nephi’s claim, “having received much strength of the Lord” is likely an understatement to be able to hold the older, and likely strong, Zoram.

While he may have been able to hold him down for a period of time, eventually the sun would rise and people would see Nephi holding Zoram, or people would hear Zoram struggling, and come to his aid. Regardless, Nephi could not let Zoram go as he would then tell people about Lehi’s sons who had told Laban they needed the plates to go into the wilderness. They would find Laban beheaded and stripped of his clothing in the street. The people would no doubt follow and find the Lehites and destroy them for killing and robbing Laban. Obtaining the plates would be for naught. However, if Zoram came with Nephi and his brothers the people of Jerusalem would likely assume that Zoram had killed Laban and fled with Laban’s treasure and not know where to look. Zoram had to be convinced to join them.

In an effort to convince him to join them Nephi told Zoram “that if he would hearken unto [his] words, as the Lord liveth, and as [he lived], even so that if he would hearken unto our words, [he] would spare his life.” Those were really the only two options—Zoram had to follow them or be killed to keep their identity, purpose, and location unknown. Continuing his efforts to reason with Zoram, Nephi said, “Surely the Lord hath commanded us to do this thing; and shall we not be diligent in keeping the commandments of the Lord? Therefore, if thou wilt go down into the wilderness to my father thou shalt have place with us.”

With this, Zoram “did take courage at the words which [Nephi] spake.” Zoram “promised that he would go down into the wilderness” with Nephi and his brothers “and he also made an oath” that he would remain with them.

All of this turned on Nephi witnessing to Laban, “Surely the Lord hath commanded us to do this thing,” asking a question that engaged his agency, “shall we not be diligent in keeping the commandments of the Lord?” And then making a promise, “if thou wilt go...thou shalt have…” Zoram was no doubt religious. He spoke to Nephi “many times concerning the elders of the Jews” as the two walked the streets of Jerusalem together to Nephi’s brothers outside Jerusalem's walls. It seems that Nephi’s inspired pattern of witness, question, promise opened a window by which the Spirit could witness to Zoram that what Nephi was declaring was true, that they should be diligent in keeping the Lord's commandments, and that he should follow them.

There is a precept to be derived from Nephi’s inspired declaration, question, and invitation/promise pattern that are applicable to every latter-day disciple. This is a prophetic pattern that is constantly repeated today. We must choose whether we will receive the declaration, sincerely ask ourselves and answer the question as guided by the Spirit, and act upon the invitation with faith the promise will be realized. Doing so will draw us closer to God. Not doing so will distance us from God.